HASH ANTHEMS

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Agana HHH Chant
Aloha HHH Anthem
Angeles City Hashional Anthem
Austin Hash Song
Boatie HHH Hymn
Copenhagen Full Moon Howlers Anthem
Copenhagen HHH Anthem
Emerald Coast Hash House Harriers
Fort Eustis HHH Anthem
Founders' Blitz
God Bless the E.P.H. (El Paso Hash)
Hashin' in New Orleans
Hogtown
Hong Kong Prayer
Kiss My Hash House Harrier's Anthem
Luanda Hash
Magic City H3 Hash Song
Men of the H, H, 3
Mother Hash
Mount Vernon HHH Road Song
Pikes Peak Hashers
Proud to be a Hasher
Richmond HHH Song
Shanghai HHH Song
Sluts from Lutz
Song of the Bandar Seri Begawan Hashers
Squannacook River Runners Anthem
Story of the Boston Hashers
Subic Hashional Anthem
There is a Hash in New Orleans
There is a House in Nittany Valley
Tokyo Hash Song
Warriers Had a Meeting
Wet Spot's Wail
White House HHH Anthem
Wiregrass HHH Down-Down Song



AGANA (GUAM) HASH HOUSE HARRIER CHANT

Contributed by Babble-On

Cocksucker, motherfucker, eat a bag of shit,
Cunt hair, douche bag, bite your mother's tit.
We're the Agana Hash, all the others suck,
Agana Hash, Agana Hash, rah, rah, fuck!

ALOHA HHH ANTHEM

Melody - Choral Stanza, Beethoven's 9th Symphony
Adapted by Flying Booger from the anthem of the Lyngby HHH, Denmark . . . a good song to get the circle going
Come Aloha Hash House Harriers,
Get your asses in high gear,
Whiners, walkers, F-R-B-ers,
Gather 'round these mugs of beer.

Let the hashing spirit enter,
Ev'ry wanker here around,
Down-downs right and left and center
As we hashers chug 'em down.

ANGELES CITY HASHIONAL ANTHEM
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Melody - Rocky Mountain High
Composed by Mu-Sick

She was born in a grass hut, in a field in Cebu.
Destined to a life of poverty.
But at the age of thirteen, she had a change of heart
And moved to downtown Angeles.

CHORUS:
Where the Balibago Mount Arayat High
I've seen it raining pesos in the sky.
Sit around Fields Avenue and screw the TDY.
Mt Arayat High, Balibago
Mt Arayat High, Balibago

She hopped in a jeepney with a stump-broke carabao
To a place she'd heard about about before
She's learned to pick up pesos from a bottle of San Miguel
Working overtime giving blowjobs in Astro Park.

She heard the pay was better down in Subic Bay.
Especially when the fleet was in.
So, she hopped a victory liner all the way to Olongapo
Where she learned to do the banana-cutter show

She's learned to do the circuit from Kim Hae to Taegu
Keeping Team Spirit troops alive.
She's a great tent heater, and she blows without kimche breath
All the boys along the DMZ

She married a lieutenant and got a visa to the States.
The hope and dream of all the bar girls here.
But after a winter in Minot, she froze her little twat
And caught the freedom bird back to Angeles.

AUSTIN HASH SONG
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Melody - Redneck Mother
(contributed by ZiPpy, Pike's Peak H4, probably composed by Austin hashers)

Start with background of "ba doom, ba doom, ba doom, boom, boom, boom . . ."

I brought a newboot out to meet the gang,
He said he needed a crowd with which to hang.
He ran like a rabbit out on the false trails,
By the time we got to the beer he was draggin' his tail.

Well it's cross the creek and up the other side,
Through some poison oak, bull nettle by my side.
Well it's off the road and off into some deep dark woods,
Running up and down hills just to get them goods.

Well you just might see a llama along the way,
Or ford a dangerous river, who's to say.
But for all us who knows, to bring some dry clothes,
Take a short cut through the creek to where the beer flows.

Well,
H, is for the hare that just laid the trail,
A, is for the soil we hash on - AUSTIN!
S, that's for Shiner,
H, is for us hounds,
E, is for everyone wearing,
R, UBBERS!

COPENHAGEN FULL MOON HOWLERS ANTHEM
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Melody - Sejle Opad Aaen (traditional Danish melody)
Composed by Bogey, CFMHHHH

We are the full m00n ho-o-o-o-o-ow lers
Sly mid-night prow-lers are we,
We "m00n" the spooks,
Drink wit-ches' brew,
'Cause we're sons of bit-ches just like you,

We live by the ca-nine co-o-o-o-o-o-odex
Hear up, we'll teach it to you:
"If you can't eat
or screw it, then
Piss on it, Piss on it, once a-gain!"

For we are the full m00n ho-o-o-o-o-ow lers
HO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-WL

BOATIE HHH HYMN
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Melody -Montezuma's Hall
Contributed by Elephant Man, Katherine HHH

On the North shores of Antarctica
Where the yanks have never been
Lies the carcass of a bloody great polar bear
Shagged to death by a Hash House team

We are the perverts of society
The likes of us you've never seen
We are a pack of loud mouth bastards
We are the Boatie Hash House Team

Well we have a reputation
For molesting little boys
For abusing old age pensioners
And stealing kiddies toys

We are the perverts of society
The likes of us you've never seen
We are a pack of loud mouth bastards
We are the Boatie Hash House Team

We don't climb many mountains
And we don't cross many streams
We don't have pretty girlfriends
We just live off our wet dreams.

We are the perverts of society
The likes of us you've never seen
We are a pack of loud mouth bastards
We are the BOATIE HASH HOUSE TEAM

COPENHAGEN HHH ANTHEM
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Melody - Pomp & Circumstance
Composed by Sodbuster

Come on, Viking Wankers,
Lift your beers and shout
We are Copenhashers
What we've got, we flaunt.
Close the narrow circle, gather round the beer.
Hashing, wanking drinking,
That is why we're here,
Hashing, wanking, drinking
That is why we're here.

EMERALD COAST HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
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Melody - Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
Composed by Flamin' Asshole, ECHHH; contributed by M.I.A.

In the panhandle of Florida, there's a group that loves to hash.
They're from the Emerald Coast, as their T-shirts boast and they can sure throw a hell of a bash.
They got a hundred or two hash house harriers, and they like to have a lot of fun.
They eat their red beans and rice, while drinking beer as cold as ice and they have even been known to run.

CHORUS: And they're the Emerald Coast Hash House Harriers,
They've been known to run through any barriers,
'Cause they're as crazy as the day is long,
And known to show their ass or sing a song.

It's hares away and off they're running, dropping flour from a plastic sack.
They mark the intersections, with hash in all directions so they can split and bring together the pack.
The FRBs are shouting "On On!" as the pack asks the question "Are You?"
They claim they're on the right trail, and the check is in the mail, because a virgin missed a Check Back Two.

They're getting closer to the On Home, a P-Check brings the pack in tight.
Just a little more shiggy, but they're squealing like a piggy 'cause the Beer Near is in sight!
After running for an hour, through the nastiest parts around,
The hares all wail, that they have laid the perfect trail, but their reward will be a double Down Down.

And the night turns into morning, they have acted like a bunch of fools.
They took short-cuts, and showed their tits and butts, but that's okay because there are NO RULES!

FORT EUSTIS HHH ANTHEM
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Melody - ???

We're the Fort Eustis hashers
We're glad to be here
We'll shortcut your trails
And drink all your beer!
We'll fuck all your women
And puke in your car
We're the Fort Eustis hashers
The best hash by far!

FOUNDERS' BLITZ
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Melody - Puttin' on the Ritz
By Great Salt Lick, Long Beach HHH

If you're blue and you don't know where to go to
Why don't you do a Founder's Blitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

Dressed up like a twenty dollar hasher
Trying hard to be a trashy flasher
Fashion Smasher

If you'd like to see some humongous tits
Why don't you go where AREOLA sitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

Drinking at the Long Beach Airport Prop Room
With the likes of HASH BUM, RAT'S ASS and BROOM
Fruit of the Loom

If you'd like to see how AT&T keeps a man
Why don't yo feel how hard she hitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

Hash Balls handed out like penny candy
QPC is feeling pretty randy
(Handy dandy)

If you'd like to see how we get new boots
Why don't you see how quick DICK quitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

CRABS and PIC are mounting on the front bar
One more Kodak moment has gone too far
Hardee Har Har

If you're bored and you would like to SNEEK-A-PEEK
Why don't you view our glitzy clitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

Food and drink consumed by all involved here
DANCES surely did not need that last beer
Human Pinball

If you're drunk and starting to feel sick
No doubt the night will be the pitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

HI SPEED's van was full of Taco Bellers
POKEY, NIPPLE, SALT and all the fellers
Steller yellers

If you go and eat all that crap you'll find
Your toilet full of wicked shitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

Party all night long in Room 446
'twas the home of EZ, SADDLE, and 3DICKS
Hell of a mix

If you go to that room you will witness
Drunks with no beer to drink throwing fitz
Puttin' on the Ritz

One more year going down in a blaze of glory
SMACK may just appear on that show "Maury"
Gory story

If you're blue and you don't know where to go to
Why don't you do a Founder's Blitz
Puttin' on the Ritz
Puttin' on the Ritz
Puttin' on the Ritz

GOD BLESS THE E.P.H. (EL PASO HASH)
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Melody - Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the U.S.A
By Butt Darts of the El Paso Hash House

If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd hashed for all my life
And I had to start again with just one run and a new life
I'd thank my lucky stars to be hashing here today
'Cause the hash still stands for freedom, so lets just masturbate!

(Chorus)
And I'm proud to be a Hasher
Where each hash I pay a fee
And I won't forget when you all lied
to give that Hashit to me
And I'll gladly stand up, nude with you, every hashing day
'Cause there ain't no doubt, I love this hash
God bless the EPH

From the hills of Malaysia, to the mountains we can see
Across the Rio Grand River, they have beastiality
The Harlot goes down on all of us, and we don’t have to pay
Well, there's pride in every El Paso Hasher, and it's time to hash today

[Chorus x2]

HASHIN' IN NEW ORLEANS
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Melody - Walkin' to New Orleans
By Tree Humper, Richmond HHH, Virginia

I'm hashin in New Orleans.
I'm hashin in New Orleans.
I'm trailin through the shiggy.
Cold and wet but it's no biggie.
I'm hashin in New Orleans.
I've got beers in my hand.
Now ain't that grand.
New Orleans is my hash.
Now isn't that a bash.
I'm hashin in New Orleans.
Nothing could be swanker.
Than running with those wankers.
They'll show you a great time.
When you get there you'll be fine.
You'll be hashin in New Orleans.

HOGTOWN
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Melody - Downtown
By Rambo, cHARLOTtesville HHH

When it's November you should simply remember, you can always go, HOGTOWN
Kazoo and Shampoo, Lengthy, Saggy and crew, intend to steal from you, HOGTOWN
When we reach the on-in with our tacky dress and ear-rings
Molson Triple-X around the table we are sharing, Give us more booze

The Blue Jays they sucked this year, so let's forget all our troubles, forget
all our fears and go
HOGTOWN! Follow the chevrons (1) to HOGTOWN!
Freeze off your titties in HOGTOWN! Shrivel your scrotum at HOGTOWN.
HOGTOWN is my kind of town!

"Don't leave the camp", oh, that's what ZiPpY will rant, when he decides to go,
HOGTOWN
Down, downs are boring, when the whole group is snoring, start the naked dance!
HOGTOWN
We don't get our money's worth with lousy kay-nook (2) moola
Hashing in Toronto sucks, don't let this weekend fool 'ya, Give us more booze

The band-plays-with-asses-bare, they have forgotten their troubles, forgotten
their cares to play
HOGTOWN! Follow the chevrons to HOGTOWN!
Freeze off your titties in HOGTOWN! Shrivel your scrotum at HOGTOWN.
HOGTOWN is my kind of town!

(1) "Chevrons" are spacing markers in the lanes on the freways leading into Toronto.
(2) Canadians are frequently referred to as canucks, pronounced "kay-nooks."

HONG KONG PRAYER
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Contributed by Harish Pillay, Singapore HHH

Our Brother,
Who art in Bejing,
Xiao Ping be thy name,
United Kingdom gone,
Thy will be done
In Hong Kong
As it is in China.
Give us this day,
Our daily bet,
and forgive us,
Our speculations.
As we forgive those
Who speculate against us.
Lead us not into Communism,
But deliver us,
From Gwailos.
For this is,
The Sovereignty,
The Power of Authority,
Forever and ever,
Chow mein.

KISS MY HASH HOUSE HARRIER'S ANTHEM
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Melody - US Army Song

Circled Up or On-On,
And until the beers are gone
Kiss My Hashers go chugging along
In the shiggy or downtown
All the wankers do down-downs
Kiss My Hashers go chugging along

Chorus: Then it's Hi Hi Hail
Kiss My Hash is on the trail
Drinking the lagers, porters, stouts
For where ever we hash,
You will find a bash
Kiss My Hashers go chugging along

Moby's drunk, Deep Throat's loud,
Lazy can't control the crowd,
Kiss My Hashers go chugging along.
Rear Ender is having fits,
All we want to see are tits,
Kiss My Hashers go chugging along.

Chorus

LUANDA-HASH
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Melody - Jerusalem

And did those feet in modern time
Hash upon Luanda's hillsides mean?
And was the beaver of Luanda Hash
In Luanda's shit-filled sewers seen?
And did the RA and GMH Divine
Shine forth upon our concrete hills?
And was Luanda Hash builded here
Among these grey Satanic mills?
Bring me my horn of tarnished brass!
Bring me my chicken-checker of desire!
Bring me a beer, and kiss my arse!
Bring me my chariot of fire!
I will not cease from hashing flight,
Nor shall web-sweeper sleep in my hand,
Till we have built Luanda Hash
In Angola's green, and pleasant land.

MAGIC CITY H3 HASH SONG
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Melody - Battle of New Orleans
By Cold Box, Magic City H3

In 1989 there came a little hash,
Just a case of shitty beer and small amount of cash.
Soon word got around 'bout this fun beer drinking club,
Chase a rabbit throwing flour and they end up in a pub!!

(Chorus)
We ran through the briars and we ran through a sewer,
We ran through some shiggy where the rabbit didn't go,
Ran so fast just hoping we would catch him,
We found the beer instead, so i guess we'll never know!!

Now real runners say that we're just a bunch 'o drunks,
Cause they came and ran our trail and they thought we really stunk,
We're sorry that you feel that way, but that's just how we think,
The running is the problem, we're just really here to drink!!!

(Repeat Chorus)

MEN OF THE H, H, 3
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Melody - ???

Eyes right, foreskins tight,
Cockstands to the front,
We're the men of the H, H, 3.
We're in search of fun,
We're the heroes of the night,
We'd rather fuck than fight,
We're the men of the H, H, 3.

CHORUS:
Rolling along, rolling along,
By the light of the silvery moon.
Happy is the Hash,
With my finger up her snatch,
By the light of the silvery moon.

Oh, (repeat from beginning)

MOTHER HASH
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Melody - Itself
(from Kuala Lumpur HHH)

If you're adventure hungry,
And your yuppie life is sad,
And you've a yen to be a jungly,
And leave everything you have,

CHORUS:
You wanna run away,
Sing a song, you wanna get smashed!
And call it a day, come on along,
And join the Mother Hash.

Fifty years we've been runnin',
Jungle, shiggy, and swamp,
Fifty more years we'll be runnin',
Happy birthday, On-On-On!

Anybody can join us,
Black, brown, yellow, or blue,
And nobody need feel nervous,
We even take white folks too!
MOUNT VERNON HHH ROAD SONG
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Melody - Barney Theme, or This Old Man
Contributed by Roto Router, MV HHH

Orlando (name of visited hash),
We hashed there,
Mount Vernon Hash House Harriers (visiting hash name)!
We fucked all the women,
Buggered all the men,
Drank all the beer,
And we'll do it all again!

PROUD TO BE A HASHER
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Melody: "Proud to be an American"
Original lyrics composed by PMS for the Seoul, South Korea Hashes

From the slimy floors of Stompers,
To the booths of Nickelby's;
All the way to Gecko's,
And that meat market that I see...

Everywhere in Itae,
And up to Uijongbu;
There's something I've been drinkin',
And so I sing this song for you...

'Cause I'm proud to be a hasher,
Where at least I have my beer;
And I won't forget the guy who drove,
The van to get it here.

And I'll proudly Down-Down, here today,
until the mug is clear;
'Cause there is no doubt I love this stuff,
BRING... ME... A...NOTHER... BEER!!

Well I'd like to go up to the hill,
But I can't even stand;
But that's okay, here I'll stay,
with a cold beer in my hand.

Now there's a girl, sitting next to me,
And I would like to bet;
With every other beer I drink,
She'll get better looking yet...

'Cause I'm proud to be a hasher,
Where at least I have my beer;
And I won't forget the guy who drove,
The van to get it here.

And I'll proudly Down-Down, here today,
until the mug is clear;
'Cause there is no doubt I love this stuff,
BRING... ME... A...NOTHER... BEER!!

PIKES PEAK HASHERS
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Melody - Son of a Gambolier
Adapted from "The Pioneers" by ZiPpy, Pike's Peak H4

Us Pikes Peak hashers are dirty flashers,
We piss through leather britches,
We wipe our ass with broken glass,
Us horny sons of bitches.

When cunt is rare, we fuck a bear,
We knife him if he snitches,
We knock our cocks against the rocks,
Us horny sons of bitches.

We take our ass upon the grass,
In bushes or in ditches,
Our two-pound dinks are full of kinks,
Us horny sons of bitches.

Without remorse, we fuck a horse,
And beat him if he twitches,
Our two-foot pricks are full of nicks,
Us horny sons of bitches.

To make a mule stand for the tool,
We beat him with hickory switches,
We use our pricks for walking sticks,
Us horny sons of bitches.

Great joy we reap from cornholing sheep,
In barns, or bogs, or ditches,
Nor give a damn if it be a ram,
Us horny sons of bitches.

We walk around, prick to the ground,
And kick it if it itches,
And if it throbs, we scratch it with cobs,
Us horny sons of bitches.

We masturbate from morn to late,
Till our bloody foreskin twitches,
Next morning at ten we begin again,
Us horny sons of bitches.

At Pikes Peak, we got no fears,
We do not stop at trifles,
We hang our balls on the walls,
And shoot at them with rifles.

We scrounge a cow and care not how,
The shit sticks to our britches,
And fetch a bull and fill him full,
Us horny sons of bitches.

We fuck our wives with butcher knives,
And keep their cunts in stitches,
But VD makes it hurt to pee,
Us horny sons of bitches.

RICHMOND HHH SONG
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Melody - Dixie
Contributed by Tree Humper, Richmond HHH, Virginia

I wish I was with the Hash in Richmond.
Hashes there are really bitchin.
Hash away, hash away, hash away, Richmond hash.

In the Richmond hash where I was named.
Running shiggy trails, drunk and lamed.
Hash away, hash away, hash away Richmond Hash.

Oh I wish I was in Richmond.
Away away.
In Richmond land I'll take my stand,
And run true trail in Richmond.

Away, away, away down South in Richmond.
Away, away, away down South in Richmond.

SHANGHAI HHH SONG
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Melody - Battle Hymn of the Republic
By Tree Humper, Richmond HHH, Virginia

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the running of the Hash.
We are Hashers, we're from Shanghai and the trails there are a bash.
We will run and drink and fall down till we run out of our cash.
The Hashers are on trail.
On, on, Shanghai Hashers.
On, on, Shanghai Hashers.
On, on, Shanghai Hashers.
Shanghai's on true trail.
SLUTS FROM LUTZ
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A Poem of Unestimable Love, Sincerity, and Devotion
By StumpSlayer, Carolina Trash

Oh, Sluts from Lutz, I hate your guts,
You've brought me to my knees.
You're everything a man would want,
You're beauty, poise, and sleeze.

Oh, Sluts from Lutz, you drive me nuts,
Your love may make me dead.
I'm just a moth drawn to the flame,
KrotchKiten, SealedLips, CheeseSpread!

Oh, Sluts from Lutz, you give me coconuts,
That's far worse than blueballs,
I'd laundry suck your underwear,
And chew your UnderAlls!

Oh, Sluts from Lutz, it may draw yucks,
You're my refuge from my strife,
Please put your legs around my neck,
Be my new leash on life!

Oh, Sluts from Lutz, this poem sucks,
But not as well as you.
Grind your highheels into my chest,
While I admire the view !

Oh, Sluts from Lutz, had I more bucks,
And could control the weather,
I'd rearrange the alphabet,
And put U and I together !

SONG OF THE BANDAR SERI BEGAWAN HASHERS (BRUNEI)
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Melody - All Things Bright and Beautiful
Contributed by Teats de Swamp

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
We like to eat them all

Each little beast that staggers
Each little bird that sings
We eat their tiny bodies
We eat their little wings

Each little frog we fondle
We'd love to chew and crunch
Each little chick we cuddle
We'd rather have for lunch

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
We like to eat them all

SSQUANNACOOK RIVER RUNNERS ANTHEM
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Chant
Contributed by Brett Hall

Squannacook once, Squannacook twice
Holy jumpin' Jesus Christ
Rim-ram, God-damn,
Son of a bitch, shit!

THE STORY OF THE BOSTON HASHERS
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Melody - Charlie on the MTA (Will He Ever Return?)
Contributed by Rob Basford, Boston HHH

Oh . . . let me tell you a story about the Boston Hashers
They've been here for twenty-four years,
Each week they run on flour through shiggy for an hour
In an effort to find a few beers!

CHORUS:
But do we ever complain, no we never complain,
From whining we refrain ('cept for "Rectal")
We may run forever in the streets of Boston
For the beer and shiggy terain.

Now "Watergate" she was, once the greatest grand-mattress,
'cause she bitches, she moans, and she . . . shits,
She'll slam down on the phone because she has PMS syndrome,
But we love her for her really big . . . HEART!

Now "Sweet Molasses" has the cutest of asses,
A nicer one you'll ne-ver find,
When her buttocks wiggle . . . it makes my old boy giggle
That's why I like to come from behind!

Well all . . . night . . . long . . . "Shine On" waits at the station
Crying "what will be-come of me?"
How . . . can . . . I . . . afford to see my boyfriend in Roxbury
Or my cousins way out in . . . Chel-sea!

Now every Boston virgin will hear us all uh urgin'
To tell us . . . with who you came,
Then you'll hear "Rectal" holler, "Give me your ten dollars!"
It's no wonder how he got his name!

While "Fat One's" a singin' and we're all here a drinkin'
I've been thinking it's been a great day.
Then a voice . . . cries out in a very load shout,
"I'm 'Rectal' and you all must pay!"

Now with the circle hash . . . re-spect is what we expect
On private . . . parties we frown,
So if you can't shut up then we'll fill up your cu-up
And make you drink it . . . DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!

When the Hare is "Friar Fuck", we're . . . all shit out of lu-uck
He doesn't know his flora at all,
So best you be ready to cut with a machete,
Through Poison Ivy ten feet tall!

Well then there's "Ski Bobbit" who sets hashes like a hobbit,
They're difficult but they . . . are . . . fun,
Three four hours gone . . . SEO makes the On-On shouting
"Who fucking set this run?!"

Well "Piece of Tail" waits, at the Scollay Square station,
Every day at quarter past two,
And through the open window hands . . . "White Flash" a down-down
As the train goes rumbling through!

Now Boston's got a thriller who'd be a lady killer,
Except he's hard on female e-gos,
'Cause when we grab his member, he DOESN'T REMEMBER!
It's Narcoleptic Romeo . . .

When French Tickler wants to pass, with great legs and ass
Male hashers follow with glee
But 'though she's fun and silly, you best tuck in your willy
'cause she's got a man in Par-eee

Now there ain't no hasher's greater than our own "Master Waiter"
It's impossible to get . . . him . . . lost,
Ever since that year when he ran right past the beer,
'Found a chesty muddy river to cross!

And this is the story of a hasher named "Junky",
On a tragic and fateful day,
He put ten beers in pocket, kissed his wife and girlfrie-end,
And moved to Califor-nee-i-a!

Well "Meat Pie" . . . she . . . waits, at the Scolly Square station,
Every day at quarter past two,
And through the open window hands . . . "No Hands" a few brew-ews
As the train goes rumbling through!

SUBIC HASHIONAL ANTHEM
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Melody - Makin' Whoopee
Composed by Dennis "Mu-Sick" Gill, Ft Walton Beach HHH, Florida

There was a hasher, of forty-five,
Not much to look at, but he's alive,
He's a disaster, he's our grand master,
When hashin', runnin', drinkin', oo-oo-oh.

There was a sailor, who fell in love,
He met the girl, he was dreamin' of,
But he wouldn't marry'er, she's a clap carrier,
So now he's hashin', runnin', drinkin', oo-oo-oh.

There was an ensign, who liked to smile,
When thinkin' of down-downs, durin' her last mile,
She chugs beer better, in Barrio Barretta,
When she's hashin', runnin', drinkin', oo-oo-oh.

There was a hasher, who was in distress,
Till he biblically knew our, grand mistress,
He's her spiritual advisor, she's his appetizer,
When hashin', runnin', drinkin', oo-oo-oh.

THERE IS A HASH IN NEW ORLEANS
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Melody - The House of the Rising Sun
Composed by Flamin' Asshole, Emerald Coast HHH; contributed by M.I.A.

There is a hash in New Orleans,
They throw a great party each year,
With strays and gays in wild parades,
And Po' Boys with Dixie beer.

Grand Masters, tell your hashers,
Take your whistles and go,
'Cause Cajuns there, are rednecks and queers,
They take you on blow for blow.

The only thing a hasher needs,
Is a butt plug and a mug,
One to keep queers out of their rears,
The other so they can chug.

The virgins show up early,
They drink, pass out, and are through,
The experienced hashers cum later,
And cover the virgins in goo.

As hashers get up in the morning,
Most of them wish they were dead,
There's a little man with a hammer,
Banging inside of their heads.

Now the moral of our story,
Mardi Gras is a blast,
From the Emerald Coast, we propose a toast,
Merci, with our tits and ass.

THERE IS A HOUSE IN NITTANY VALLEY
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Melody - House of the Rising Sun

There is a house in Nittany Valley,
They call the Harriers,
And it's been the salvation of many a poor boy,
And God, I know, I'm there.

My Mother was Inferior,
An Ann Arbor harriette,
My father was the Reverend Poon Tang,
A Chemical Waste hasher yet.

Now the only thing a hasher needs,
Is a shag bag and a beer,
The only time that he is satisfied,
Is when the beer is near.

Oh Mother, tell your children,
To do what I did dare,
To live their lives in sin and ecstasy,
As a Hash House Harrier.

With one foot on the beer check,
The other foot on the trail,
I'm going back to the apres,
To chase after bimbo tail.

Well, there is a house in Nittany Valley,
They call the Harriers,
And it's been the salvation of many a poor boy,
And God, I know, I'm there.

TOKYO HASH SONG
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Melody - The Irish Rover

I flew into Tokyo, an expat so neat,
Some boozy old hashers I happened to meet,
I asked to go hashing, they answered me "Nay,
For wimps such as you we can find any day."

CHORUS:
And it's no nay never, no nay no never no more,
Shall I play the wild hasher, no never no more.

I took out my checkbook all shiny and bright,
The hash cash's eyes they lit up with delight,
He said, "Gladly we'll welcome you as one of the rank,
As soon as your check has been cleared by the bank."

They sold me a T-shirt at exhorbitant price,
Then we went hashing, 'twas ever so nice,
At the last checkpoint we lost three without trace,
And back at the On In we all got shit faced.

I've hashed the world over in places far and near,
I fondled the women and drank all the beer,
And now I'm returning with tales for to tell,
Of checkbacks unending and shortcuts through hell.

Now all I have left is a beer-stained T-shirt,
And my Nikes are covered in shiggy and dirt,
My wife she has left me because of the pong,
And this is the end of my terrible song.

WARRIERS HAD A MEETING
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Melody - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
By Dances With Dogs, Oregon HHH
Note: "Warriers" is spelled that way on purpose - F.B.

The Warriers had a meeting
They came from near and far
Some came by jet airliner
Some came from Manly's bar

And when they were assembled
The Dog the Bitch and Man
Out popped our Cornballer
From the fucking can

One Warrier still was missing
We had tried to shake him loose
But Scrotum came upon us
Swilling in the Goose

There we Warriers gamboled
Without a worry or care
When a crazed and drunken bimbo yelled
"Hey, we're supposed to hare!"

So to the next bar we rambled
To wile away an hour
When another skanky bimbo yelled
"We forgot the fucking flour!"

As we staggered back to the box
With our legs between our tail
We had spent eight hours in many a bar
But not a second scouting trail

There Lips did loan us a sacred vessel
In which we shall not shit
As long as Battered Woman
And Killer stay away from it

But to those Warrier bimbos
Who we thought we could not top
Throughout the chef's hat dance
Their laughter would not stop

So then we all decided
With ice shoved up our ass
Monster not Baller is going to come
To our next fucking Warrier hash

Of course we do realize
That for our next Warrier trail
If Monster's coming with us
Well be setting his fucking bail

But this tale cannot yet end
Without thanks to the Oregon Hash
And kidnap victim number three
Much honor to deep gash

WET SPOT'S WAIL
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Melody - Charlie on the MTA (Will He Ever Return?)
By Mouthful, Oregon HHH

Let me tell you the story of a Hasher named Wetspots on a tragic and fateful day.
She put flour in her pocket, kissed her best man Stinky and proceeded to lay the trail.

Oh . . .
The . . .
Trail it was abysmal and the checks they were pathetic and the logic just didn't jibe.
She left beer in Hobo Heaven, thought it actually would stay there and continued to keep on smilin'.

Well the hounds said "It's outrageous," and the co-Hare was adamant, that ol' Wetspots was our blond friend.
But dear Wetspots didn't get it. Kept on telling us we loved it. Was determined to hash without end.

Oh will she ever return, no she'll never return. She is banned from laying trail.
She may run with us tomorrow, but her Hare we will not follow. She is banned from laying trail.

She decided she would greet us at the tavern she would meet us. She was greeted with so much rage.
And after produce row she led us, from the city then she sped us. Now her half-mind was unengaged.

Oh will she ever return, no she'll never return. She is banned from laying trail.
She may run with us tomorrow, but her Hare we will not follow. She is banned from laying trail.

After Hal's the Hounds took action, 'twas a desperate reaction, and they followed the Hares outside.
In four blocks they saw the reason, why the trail it wasn't pleasin' as the Hares prepared to drive.

Oh will she ever return, no she'll never return. She is banned from laying trail.
She may run with us tomorrow, but her Hare we will not follow. She is banned from laying trail.

Then our most exalted Tyrant stuck his head inside her window and proceeded to grab her keys.
There she sat in all that traffic, and the hounds they were a laughing, 'til her shorts came off over her knees.

Oh will she ever return, no she'll never return. She is banned from laying trail.
She may run with us tomorrow, but her Hare we will not follow. She is banned from laying trail.

At . . .
Old . . .
Town . . .
Pizza we assembled for a session that resembled something of a lynch partee.
Each had found his own way back, but we were ne'er again on track for no flour did we see.

It was a Horrid Hash disaster, that will live for ever after in the annals of infamy . . .
As the day when our dear Wetspots grabbed her final sack of flour and she sealed her destiny.

Oh will she ever return, no she'll never return. She is banned from laying trail.
She may run with us tomorrow, but her Hare we will not follow. She is banned from laying trail.

WHITE HOUSE HHH ANTHEM
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Melody - Unknown
Contributed by SmegmaBalls, White House HHH

We're the White House Hashers
Scum of the earth,
Scourge of crea-a-tion,
God-forsaken-fornicating-son-of-a-bitches,

Found in every whore house,
Drink, suck, and scre-e-ew,
We're the White House Hash, and we say, fuck, YOU!

WIREGRASS HHH DOWN-DOWN SONG
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Melody - same as for "Marriage a la Mode"
Composed by Pole Pounder, contributed by Horny Toad

CHORUS:
Drink a little bit, run a little bit,
Follow the hash, follow the hash, follow the hash.
Drink a little bit, run a little bit, follow the hash,
Join in our happy song.

Mighty fine hares are they, are they,
Mighty fine hares are they.
They mark the true trail with bottles of ale,
And mark false ones with three lines of pee.

Mighty fine hashers are they, are they,
Mighty fine hashers are they.
They can't run, they can't sing, but they're good for one thing,
They have the keys to the old brewery.

Mighty fine virgins are they, are they,
Mighty fine virgins are they.
They're tired and they're thirsty and their clothes are all dirty,
But there's no place that they'd rather be.

A front-running bastard is __________, is __________,
A front-running bastard is (s)he.
(S)he thinks it's a race till (s)he falls flat on her/his face,
And skins up her/his cute little knees.

A short-cutting bastard is __________, is __________,
A short-utting bastard is (s)he.
(S)he ran off the true trail and started to wail,
"Help, I'm up to my neck in shiggy!"